WEEK 20: Why Does It Hurt to Help People?

I was thinking about the five components that keep us from leaving our comfort zone (fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings and anger) and only two really resonate with me: fear and hurt feelings.  I can actually combine the two to create one big stumbling block which is FEAR OF HURT FEELINGS.  Yes, I’m an adult, but I’ve always been extremely sensitive which isn’t easy when you’re in network marketing.

I managed to overcome my other fears and get out of my comfort zone when I started the industry 12 years ago.  Unfortunately, I’ve been battered and bruised by several companies and my so called ‘warm’ market.  My first experience might have destroyed my belief in the industry because both my sponsor (my nephew) and his sponsor left the company after receiving more than $15,000 from me.  But I pushed through for a year and grew a team on my own until the company (Emerald Passport) closed its doors on me and my team. They did that when I was on a plane leaving a two-week company training event. Now it makes sense that the owner, only known as ‘Sam’, wouldn’t allow us to take pictures of him during the event.  My team probably thought that I was the scammer and I was devastated.

Then there were ground floor opportunities that never got off the ground; a shady cash gifting opportunity where no one ever revealed their last names, an energy company that wasn’t available in the state I moved to; a couple of Ponzi schemes and a well known wellness company starting with the letters MELA that refused to turn off my mother’s auto ship when she died.  They wanted a death certificate, so I quit the business. 

My niece no longer speaks to me.  She joined me in my energy business.  She needed one more customer to receive a special bonus. Since she was busy at work, I took it upon myself to ask her aunt, my sister in law, to please switch her electricity (and save $$$) to help our niece.  My niece berated me when she found out that I had helped her behind her back and never spoke to me again. 

My cousin excitedly joined me in a company called SendOutCards.  I brought it to her because she always raved about the beautiful personalized, cards I’d send and because I thought it would be a huge help in her real estate business.  Turns out the cousin (who also called me her ‘ sister’) recently lied to people (my family) and said that she ‘lent’ me money to help me with my business and I never paid her back (and she’s a multi-millionaire!) On a side note, I also found out that she had slandered me decades before to my parents, her parents and my grandmother.  We were single and went on a cruise together.  The last night of the cruise she locked me out of our cabin so she could have sex with our favorite bartender. I was actually physically attacked as I wandered the ship alone in the middle of the night.   I never spoke of it to anyone but found out years later that she told my whole family that I had locked her out of the room.  So, apparently, I lost a relationship with a pathological liar.   And on and on it goes……  I’ve lost relationships because I’ve chosen a profession that ignorant people tend to call a ‘pyramid scheme’ but in their defense, they don’t know what they don’t know.   There are more stories, but I think you get the point.

But I persist and I win.  Yes, the hurt feelings still sting and yes, I buy and call leads because strangers have no power to hurt me.  I’ve grown to love cold calling (or actually the Law of Dual thought worked well as I convinced myself that I love it!) The people I’ve lost over the business apparently weren’t worth much – at least I wasn’t worth much to them.  I’ve forgiven them, but the memory persists as I hesitate to call warm market. 

How will I use my fear of hurt feelings as a tool to my ultimate success?  That is the big question that I will continue to ponder. I’ve been with the most amazing company for a year and a half and the products and opportunity have changed my life.  It’s a joy to help people and work with an honest company and people with integrity.   I must get past it because I have an obligation to share my current products with people I care about.  I can save lives and improve their quality of life.  My cousin (a good one) called and thanked me for saving her life with our  products.  Maybe the thing I’m pretending not to know is that I MUST overcome my aversion to my warm market because I care about them more than my ‘hurt feelings.’

Published by coachdiane27

I’m a work at home, self-employed, freedom fighter helping people find freedom from illness and financial freedom! I spent decades in a loving marriage but in a loveless career. That stressful loveless career affected so many aspects of my life including my health and marriage. The money was great but what good is money with no time to enjoy it? Finally, my husband said I’d rather be broke than have you sick or gone. That was April fool’s day 2003. I wanted to always remember the date that I stopped being a fool in corporate America and had the courage to pursue my dreams. We’ve never looked back. We downsized into a 700-foot dilapidated condo from a beautiful single home that we had built. But we were still happy. My husband worked overtime for years while I tried a multitude of network marketing businesses. Some were legit but the market was saturated, some were Ponzi schemes, some were ‘ground floor’ opportunities that never got off the ground. Eight businesses and 10 years later, we moved 600 miles from our friends and family to beautiful SC. We could afford to live there because the real estate was cheaper and the taxes $8000 cheaper a year. Even though we miss everyone, a big plus is that hubby loves golf and I love warm weather and beaches. I had given up on Network Marketing. In August of 2018 I had a phone call from a friend asking me try something that might help me with my health. I wasn’t interested in the business opportunity or even the product but when I found out there was a 30 day money back guarantee, I tried it because I had nothing to lose. That phone call was a gift from God because my health has improved dramatically, and I finally found the business of my dreams. I’m so grateful to be changing lives by improving people’s health and, if they choose to join me, their wealth. We just designed and built our dream home and I keep pinching myself every time I look around. It is never too late to pursue your dreams. As a junior senior citizen, I’m excited to be working on my next set of dreams and to help others pursue theirs too.

5 thoughts on “WEEK 20: Why Does It Hurt to Help People?

    1. Thank you for your kind words and for reading in between the lines. I also want to apologize to you that I haven’t read yours or anyone blogs in weeks. First I had a computer glitch where I would type comments and they would disappear, then I got sick. Anyway looking forward to catching up and reading your journey.


  1. Wow! As Og states is Scroll IV – I have been given eyes to see and a mind to think and now I know a great secret of life for I perceive, at last, that all my problems, discouragements, and heartaches are, in truth, great opportunities in disguise..
    Congratulations! You are to be celebrated for your beautiful soul and your perseverance. I am encouraged. Thank you!!!


    1. Wow Louise, I hadn’t thought of that part of Scroll IV. Thank you for your insight and for being your wonderful self.
      I also want to apologize to you that I haven’t read yours or anyone blogs in weeks. First I had a computer glitch where I would type comments and they would disappear, then I got sick. Anyway looking forward to catching up and reading your journey.


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